Gilden-Dramen - sowas denkt man sich nicht einfach aus

• Do, 13. März 2008,
• 1338 Wörter,
• 1 Kommentar,
• Tags:
• Drama,
• EverQuest,
• Gilde

Noch immer hängt mein spie­le­ri­sches MMO-Herz irgend­wie an Ever­Quest. Nicht das ich je wie­der dort eine Spiel-Minute ver­brin­gen würde, aber ich lese wei­ter­hin die Web­sei­ten diver­ser Endgame-Gilden. Wäh­rend das aktu­elle Death’n’Taxes-Drama mehr wie ein Kin­der­gar­ten wirkt - wenn auch lächer­lich unter­halt­sam - dann sind spie­le­ri­sche Strei­tig­kei­ten, doch irgend­wie immer bes­ser.

Ich prä­sen­tiere, den viel­leicht bes­ten /rant eines MMO-Spielers, den ich in den letz­ten 4 Jah­ren so lesen durfte. Man merkt sofort, wel­ches Spiel die­ses Ganze Zeug so popu­lär gemacht. Kurz Vor­ge­schicht: diese Gilde ist mitt­ler­weile #1, hat sich wohl auf dem Weg an die Spitze auf­fäl­lig gut geschla­gen und so den Neid der fühe­ren #1-Gilden auf sich gezo­gen, was wohl in Anpran­ge­run­gen im offi­zi­el­len Forum gip­felte, ganz im Sinne von “Die haben geschum­melt!” Auch hier noch eine kleine Rand-Info, wenige Gil­den in EQ haben seit Jah­ren direkte Ver­bin­dun­gen zu den Ent­wick­lern, so dass man immer wie­der gern die Trumpf­karte “Bat­phone”, die nichts ande­res umschreibt, als direkt einen der Ent­wick­ler zu infor­mie­ren und wohl­mög­lich Hilfe zu erhal­ten. Der Text hat alles: grund­lose Beschimp­fun­gen, nackte Fak­ten, Stel­len die von jah­re­lan­gem Zwist zwi­schen Gil­den zeu­gen, einen eli­tä­ren Ton, kurzum per­fekt und sehr lesens­wert.

So all of this slan­de­ring and shit talking…it really makes us sad. It made us sad, fel­las. Because for years now, we’ve been bea­ting ever­y­thing for you other guilds. And the only time you come out to men­tion our name is to shit on us.

We’ve been the pre­miere rai­ding guild on EQ for a while now. Our real first bre­ach to the undis­pu­ted rank of #1 came in TSS. When we demolis­hed both Frost­crypt and Ashen­gate before anyone else. The dou­che­bags over at Town­ship Rebel­lion couldn’t handle that we just ser­ved their asses to them and went on their “BEST OVERALL” bull­s­hit. Try­ing to dis­credit our accom­plish­ment. Instead, they should have been sen­ding our ent­ire ros­ter Thank You cards for making Frost­crypt beata­ble for them before they got there. Which guild was it that kil­led Har­fange the Black with 50 unpreven­ta­ble god damn adds? That was Tria­lity. What did TR do? They got to Gren­wald, found out he was a mons­ter badass and got on the Bat Phone to get his legs bro­ken and stuf­fed in a wheelchair…after we had been bea­ting him regu­larly while he was on the juice (three times). Pan­sies.

So now it’s Sol­te­ris time. We have to man up to show that taking the gold home in TSS wasn’t a fluke. So we did. But on the way there, we were the ones making adjust­ments to deal with the sur­pri­sing dif­fi­culty of the events or the ran­dom bugs sin­king days, some­ti­mes weeks, off our pro­gres­sion rate. We were kil­ling the ori­gi­nal Apro­sis. Wit­hout gim­ping it by des­pa­w­ning the adds and kit­ing him around until the raid was ready like some people did.….When we beat Event 3 the first time, we got spam­med with an erro­neous emote and we didn’t get a lock­out. Or the second time we beat Event 3 and we got raped by an army of golems upon com­ple­ting the event and a chest didn’t spawn. Who clea­ned up that mess for you ung­ra­te­ful dickheads? Tria­lity did. How about at event 5 when we beat the script and it respa­w­ned as if not­hing hap­pened and we got no chest. Who mop­ped up that shit­s­tain before you second rate shit­bags rol­led up in there? Tria­lity did. Then we beat our heads against Event 6 a total of 54 times. Which always see­med pretty ridi­cu­lous. But we did that when there was no limit on how many goos could spawn (3 every 30 sec). So by the end of the fight, we had more goo on the floor than a mas­sage par­lor in Chi­na­town. When you other whi­ning retards got to that event, the goos got a cap on how many can spawn. Not to men­tion, alt­hough I’m about to, remem­ber when Sol­te­ris was cra­shing like a DC-10? Well, during SoF beta, we spent an ent­ire night clea­ring all of Sol­te­ris (on the beta ser­ver) to assist in debug­ging the cra­shing issues. Keep in mind, we were dona­ting our time to help fix a zone we would never step foot in again, just for you ing­ra­tes. And after doing all that we did for you other guilds, still no Thank You card. No fruit bas­ket. Not even a box of cho­co­la­tes. Shame on you.

Now most recently was the Man­sion. For example, Tin­ker­son and his bug for spa­w­ning. Instead of whi­ning about it end­lessly on EQLive, we figu­red out what was cau­sing it and worked around it. The­re­fore, we pro­gress fas­ter than you. When the ONE time pro­blems with the ele­va­tor fucked us, we figu­red out how to avoid that and pro­gres­sed. You did not. You bit­ched, and whined and cried and after all that: ele­va­tor music. How about when Pro­to­type got chan­ged and all you drippy vagi­nas were making thre­ads for eyes of anyone that would lis­ten? Ya, we were bea­ting that too…progressing. See the trend here? Now that you’ve got­ten in there and sam­pled the fruits of our labors, you’re get­ting all sorts of events chan­ged and mani­pu­la­ted to fit your family guild style of rai­ding. It took us 17 days to clear all of the Man­sion and get our first flags. How long did it take you? That ques­tion is actually inva­lid. See, Mel­d­rath also had ano­ther bug. The one where you’d wipe to him and he’d regen slo­wer than shit. And I know, for an abso­lute fact, some of you guilds cherry picked him like that to get your flags…

See, what I’m get­ting at is this: You appa­r­ently can’t com­pre­hend how we’re pro­gres­sing through this expan­sion at bre­ak­neck speeds. You thought you found it with these bull­s­hit accu­sa­ti­ons. You can’t com­pre­hend the rea­lity because you don’t have the same talent and mind­set we do. We raid more than a pathe­tic four days a week (Dark Hori­zon). We make adjust­ments before we wipe 100 times to a fucking event (Raging Fury). We arrange our­sel­ves and pre­pare our­sel­ves for opti­mal rai­ding. We don’t just throw toge­ther some makes­hift groups and launch our­sel­ves at a fight (also, Raging Fury). I think our track record cle­arly indi­ca­tes we require no exploits or cheats to stay ahead of the game and fell any foe that stands in our way to vic­tory. We adapt. We don’t wipe to events 100 times. Shit, I haven’t done anything 100 times in my life except maybe mas­tur­bate. I mean, bea­ting our heads against an event can hap­pen to anyone but at like attempt #30, may­y­y­ybe you want to switch some things up. That’s some pri­ce­l­ess Tria­lity spoi­lers right there. Use with dis­cre­tion.

I heard some of you sluts cal­ling for roll­backs on us for this alle­ged chea­ting we’ve done. That unne­cessary sug­ges­tion makes me laugh. Not because of how ridi­cu­lous it was, but I can gua­ran­tee you, with abso­lute con­fi­dence we’d still beat you to the end of this expan­sion. Even if we had to reflag all over again. Still, we’d crush you. 4 groups of our play­ers would out heal, out tank, out dps and out raid your ent­ire trash­bag guild anytime.

So when you’re loo­king for ans­wers on how we can be doing so well; look to your­sel­ves. It’s all rela­tive. We’re only as good as what we can grade our­sel­ves against. As far as I’m con­cer­ned Tria­lity is #1 and the rest of you ass­ho­les are all tied for last.

DnT’s Drama dage­gen dreht sich nur um Per­sön­li­ches, gip­felte schließ­lich in expli­zi­tem Bild­ma­te­rial der Mit­glie­der, deren genaue Details ich nicht wirk­lich ver­tie­fen möchte. Eine Internet-Legende ist die Sache aber jetzt schon. So schnell wird man sol­che Bil­der einer popu­lä­ren Gilde kaum wie­der sehen. Der Forums­bei­trag ist auch schon wie­der gelöscht wur­den, kur­siert aber noch auf diver­sen Cache-Seiten und hat im FoH-Board auch schon sei­nen eige­nen Fan­club. Good times.

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